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Nov. 3rd, 2006 10:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
It's the same coffeehouse they've been meeting in ever since they came back. Great for students, cheap food, cheap drinks -
It's all the same - but something's different. Kevin and Dave don't know what, exactly, but they can tell nonetheless. It's there in Paul's silence, and in the way he keeps looking at the door.
It's there, at long last. After this endless autumn: change.
It's all the same - but something's different. Kevin and Dave don't know what, exactly, but they can tell nonetheless. It's there in Paul's silence, and in the way he keeps looking at the door.
It's there, at long last. After this endless autumn: change.
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Date: 2006-11-13 05:33 am (UTC)She spots them, then turns to say something to her companion, who nods and follows her into the restaurant.
Together, Kim and Jennifer start across the room toward the others.
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Date: 2006-11-13 05:36 am (UTC)Long enough for her to tell Kim what had happened, though, and long enough to prepare herself for this, as much as she can.
As they come to stand by the table, Jennifer looks from face to face, head held high.
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Date: 2006-11-13 05:42 am (UTC)"Jen."
Oh, Jen.
"You look--good."
It isn't a lie. Not really.
Not quite.
"I mean, it's good to see you. I--"
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Date: 2006-11-13 05:52 am (UTC)It is grey here, she realizes, and that's something of a relief. Her outlook on the world is no longer green and poisoned, but soft and grey and distant-- and safe, and not unwell. It will do, and it is more than she had dared hope for, after everything.
And so she finds that it is not that hard, after all, to smile slightly at Kevin first of all of them, or to say,
"It's good to see you too, Kev. Really good." She glances around, adding, "All of you, even."
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Date: 2006-11-13 05:59 am (UTC)If Kevin doesn't have the right words - no one can expect Dave to.
He feels irredeemably awkward anyways, and his gaze goes involuntarily to her stomach, and then quickly away when he realizes where he's looking. To Paul, who is watching her with a small, almost rueful smile.
"Good to see you," he echoes, and plants his gaze firmly down on his feet.
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Date: 2006-11-13 06:10 am (UTC)"So, obviously there's been some news."
A beat.
"You know, one of you so-called gentlemen could offer us a seat."
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Date: 2006-11-13 06:12 am (UTC)"For you, my lady doctor."
He gestures to one.
"And for you, sweet Jen."
And the other.
"I live only to serve."
There is something, after all, to be said for familiarity.
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Date: 2006-11-13 06:24 am (UTC)And then, hit by an idea, he stands up - carefully - and pulls out his own chair.
He gestures grandly and wordlessly in Kevin's direction.
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Date: 2006-11-15 03:57 am (UTC)He flaps his hands at the other man a few times, tsking under his breath.
"Miss Manners would have a field day with you."
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Date: 2006-11-15 04:01 am (UTC)"Kevin, I thought you studied law, not etiquette!"
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Date: 2006-11-15 04:05 am (UTC)He throws Dave another grin, then flips his chair around and sits down, arms crossed along the back.
Kevin is elegance at its finest, surely.
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Date: 2006-11-15 04:17 am (UTC)If he's still watching Jen, it's not particularly visible.
"Do you want to spend all day pulling out chairs, or do you want to hear the story from Fionavar?"
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Date: 2006-11-15 04:47 am (UTC)Even as Kevin mimes zipping his lips, Kim's no longer laughing. She glances at Jennifer, then fixes her clear gray gaze on Paul.
"I think we'd better, don't you?"
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Date: 2006-11-15 04:54 am (UTC)Jennifer's voice is surprisingly mild.
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Date: 2006-11-15 04:59 am (UTC)But he directs his voice to Kim above all, as he tells the news that he considers to be the most pertinent: "They didn't attack," he says.
"They heard your warning, and they're waiting until winter is over."
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Date: 2006-11-15 05:12 am (UTC)"Oh, thank god," she whispers, closing her eyes.
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Date: 2006-11-15 05:18 am (UTC)And for all the casual ease of his words, Kevin's expression is tight, watchful.
"Now we've just got to keep it up."
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Date: 2006-11-15 05:21 am (UTC)Dave eyes Kim, warily, but forges on with his question.
"Sorry, guys, but I'm lost. How the hell did you get back to Fionavar without Kim?"
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Date: 2006-11-15 05:23 am (UTC)"And before you ask, no, I don't know how, and I can't duplicate it any more than Kim can. I had to get Jaelle to send us back."
It still rankles, a little.
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Date: 2006-11-15 05:25 am (UTC)It's a dim surprise to her how easy it is to say the next thing, here in this mild grey country to which she has now come.
"Galadan was here."
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Date: 2006-11-15 05:27 am (UTC)"What?"
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Date: 2006-11-15 05:33 am (UTC)Matter-of-factly: "He came to kill me, if he could. Jen, also, although -"
His gaze flickers to Jen, and back to Kevin.
"She wasn't his primary target. For which we can be thankful."
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Date: 2006-11-15 05:40 am (UTC)Kim's gaze is direct, as direct as her words.
"Why?"
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Date: 2006-11-15 05:45 am (UTC)"I am his to kill," he answers, simply, "as he is mine."
The third time pays for all.
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Date: 2006-11-15 05:48 am (UTC)"If you die again, Paul, I'm calling the third time for myself."
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Date: 2006-11-15 05:57 am (UTC)"So," he interrupts, too loudly, "is he still here? Is he going to keep trying, or what?"
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Date: 2006-11-15 06:00 am (UTC)Paul's answer is calm and even.
"I don't think he'll try again here; don't ask me how I know, but this isn't where our next meeting will be."
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Date: 2006-11-15 06:02 am (UTC)Kevin eyes Paul narrowly, then shakes his head, holding up one hand.
"Never mind."
He doesn't really want to know.
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Date: 2006-11-18 04:49 am (UTC)"Okay," she says, with a bit of a twist to her smile.
Kim, after all, knows more than a little about certain knowledge that can't be easily explained.
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Date: 2006-11-18 04:54 am (UTC)"Okay, Jen - you want to take it from here?"
His voice is quiet; not pushing. If she says no, he'll go on.
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Date: 2006-11-18 05:18 am (UTC)"The crossing brought me early to my time," she says quietly, to them all. "My son is born, and he lives."
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Date: 2006-11-18 05:30 am (UTC)"I don't know whether to be relieved or more than a little sick."
His expression reveals almost nothing as he looks at Jen, then closes his eyes.
"I can't imagine how it must be for you."
He opens his eyes, and there are no tears, but the memory of such great terror and such fierce anger.
To this I will make reply although he be a god and it mean my death.
"I'm sorry, Jen. So damn sorry."
It will never be enough.
Never.
There is no recompense for a hurt that runs so deep, none.
But he can give her this. He can--he can not give voice to the question that burns in his throat.
But he is not only your son, Jen. Oh, God, how could you let him live? How could you?
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Date: 2006-11-18 06:13 am (UTC)It's said flatly, unwaveringly so, and without room for compromise of any sort. Jennifer Lowell holds her head high and proud as she looks right back at him.
In her eyes, however, the difference is clear. They're kind again, with the child gone from her-- no longer hard and brittle as ice, as they had been before.
"I know." A beat, and a breath, and then she says the rest of it. "But I don't blame you."
"Any of you," she adds, looking around at them all, now.
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Date: 2006-11-18 06:50 am (UTC)Don't you have any idea how he's feeling? she had shouted at Jen, some months back, before it became painfully obvious that the other woman would no longer speak of Fionavar-- or of Dave, or Paul, or Kevin. Perhaps especially Kevin, who had tried to reach out with flowers.
Don't you care?
Jennifer hadn't, but that was before the child had been born. Now-- everything seems so fragile still, but it's no small grace that her friend is here beside her, in the world once more-- and now this.
She doesn't know what to say, and so Kim Ford says nothing.
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Date: 2006-11-18 07:04 am (UTC)He loved her once, so much, and loves her yet, though it is nothing like the same, was nothing like the same even before the lecture, and the crossing, and everything that came after.
And there is still so much yet to be done.
"Well, if that part of things is over and done with," he says slowly, at last, "is there--is there anything else we need to know?"
He spreads his hands, almost helplessly, looking to Dave for a second or two, searching for something familiar in amongst so much strangeness and pain.
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Date: 2006-11-18 07:11 am (UTC)- and so it's with some surprise that he hears his own voice ask, "Jen - where is he now? Your son? Is he - with someone?"
The question's awkward, as usual; as usual, Dave can't say what he really wants to say, which is: it's awful for a kid to be raised without love.
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Date: 2006-11-18 07:21 am (UTC)"He's with a woman who'll care for him - the fewer people who know where, I think, the better."
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Date: 2006-11-18 07:26 am (UTC)"He's being taken care of, yes. She'll take very good care of him, I think -- it's why I chose her."
A hesitation and then she tells them, all of them,
"His name is Darien."
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Date: 2006-11-18 07:39 am (UTC)She had dreamed it, had seen a golden-haired young man with brilliant blue eyes in the middle of a wood somewhere that she's never yet walked, and had known his name then with a Seer's deep and certain awareness.
Hearing it said is different, though. It's real-- her dreaming had come true, and even though she'd known it would, still, hearing it said gives her something of hope.
"Darien," Kim says softly, as her gaze goes unerringly to Paul.
"It's a beautiful name."
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Date: 2006-11-18 07:47 am (UTC)He hasn't told Jen; it's in his look now, but then, he thinks, Kim knows that already.
There's silence for a moment, after that.
And eventually it's broken; Kevin makes a joke, and Dave asks a question; there's news to convey, and things to discuss, endlessly, as they've been discussing them all autumn -
- but the important things have been said.
His name is Darien.